Better Off Alone
by Capt. Cow
Summary: Movie Verse. Songfic for Grinspoon's Better Off Alone. After a nasty accident Alan decides Tin-Tin is better off without him. 1st Thunderbirds fic, please review.


Better Off Alone

Summary- Alan wonders whether or not he and Tin Tin should really be together, or is his job just too dangerous. Songfic, based on Grinspoon's Better off Alone.

A/N- Review please, hope you enjoy it. Thinking about it the song doesn't really match the fic, but you know, it's a great song, so, it'll do.

_I never gave a reason  
of why I didn't call  
Now I've grow so tired  
of lying to myself  
It cannot go unsaid  
I regret what they know  
Don't think it's all been a waste of time_

"You won't even talk to me Alan! How can I find out what the problem is if you don't talk to me?!" Tin-Tin could feel the tears trying to burst out but she held them back.

Alan Tracy lay on his side in the medical bay of Tracy Island; he had been there for the past week, after being badly injured in a particularly nasty rescue.

"Please Alan! Please!" the tears were spilling out now, as hard as she fought to hold them back.

"I was so worried Alan! We…" her voice cracked with emotion, "we weren't sure if you were ever going to wake up, and then you did… Please, please talk to me!"

He remained stoically silent, his head turned away from her.

She left the room, sobbing and unsure of what she had done.

As soon as the door closed behind her Alan let out a ragged breath. That'd hurt much more then when the building had fallen on him the week before.

Ignoring her like that was breaking his heart, it really was. Because he loved Tin-Tin, he really did. Heck, before the accident he'd been considering popping 'the question'.

But now, well, everything was different now. He'd come to understand just how dangerous his job could be.

Could he really ask Tin-Tin to be put through all that worry? All that stress?

No. It wasn't fair. And so Alan Tracy lay back in his bead, trying not to think about just how empty life would be once he had pushed Tin-Tin away for good.

_Are you better off alone? Stop lying to yourself  
I regret what was said I deny what they know  
Are you better off alone?_

"Why don't you talk to her?" Gordon shouted at his brother across the room, "It's killing her! Stop avoiding her with all this crap and just talk to her!"

"I can't! I have to let her go! Don't you get it? She'd be better off without me! You know, with a normal boyfriend, one who's job doesn't involve injury and possible death!"

"One mission Al! One mission went skew, and you got hurt. That's no reason to just dump the girl! Don't you think she knows the risks you take? It's never bothered you or her before, why now?"

"When I was injured I got thinking, you know, two weeks in the infirmary does that for you. What if we get married and I die? What if we have kids and this bloody job kills me?! What then? What about her?! Eh?"

"Far out Alan! You're so stubborn! Can't you see that you're killing her by doing this? Stop worrying about something that MIGHT happen, and worry about what you're doing to her now!"

_Those that we admired  
All stood their ground and cried  
I didn't start the fire  
I just tried to see your eyes  
It cannot go unsaid  
I only want you to know  
I think it's all going to  
Work out fine  
_

"It'll all be ok Tin, don't worry." Fermat reassured the weeping girl. He wasn't exactly sure how, Alan could be very stubborn sometimes, most of the time actually. Especially when it came to Tin-Tin, he loved her, and would do anything in his power to protect her.

Which was what this was all about.

Tin-Tin was devastated by what she saw as Alan not loving her anymore, when in fact he was just trying to save her from having to live alone if the job ever killed him.

Fermat did understand the reason behind what Alan was doing, but he didn't get how Alan couldn't see that rejecting her so abruptly was just as bad as leaving her alone if he died.

It was almost an hour later when Tin-Tin finally calmed down enough to leave Fermat alone. He was sitting by the pool collecting his thoughts when he was joined by Virgil and Gordon.

"We have to do something about this." Virgil said, taking his place next to Fermat, "before it kills one or both of them."

And with they began to plot.

_Are we Better Off Alone (you better off alone?)  
Than lying to ourselves  
Who cares what they've said?  
Who cares what they know?  
Are we better off alone_

"What do you want Gordo?" asked Alan, as he hobbled into the living room on his crutches.

"Wait here a sec; I got something I wanna show you." Gordon said, disappearing from the room. Alan dropped onto the couch, being careful not to bump his broken arm to much.

"I'm waiting Gordo, I don't have all day."

Five minutes later it wasn't Gordon, but Tin-Tin who entered the living room.

"Virgil what are you after?" she called as she stepped in.

Before either could even acknowledge the others presence the doors slammed shut on all side of the living room. Alan's communicator beeped.

"What the…"

"Hey Al, your loving older brothers here," Virgil's voice floated through the device; "you and Tin-Tin are going to sort this out. And you aren't leaving till you do."

Alan groaned. He'd been avoiding Tin-Tin like the plague, not sure that he could hold up his indifferent façade for too long in front of her, not when he could see the pain he was causing to her. He hated to hurt her. But it was the only way wasn't it?

_I know that my love I'll send  
Could we still be friends?  
But this is the end  
I think it's all going to work out fine_

It was Tin-Tin who spoke first, after five minutes or so of awkward silence.

"Is there someone else? Is that it?" Alan swore he could almost feel his heart snap in two as she said it; her voice was so subdued, so…defeated.

I did that to her. He thought, hating himself. I made her that defeated and unhappy. But it's for her own good, isn't it?

"No." his voice was quiet, and at first he couldn't tell if she'd heard him. "I couldn't love anyone but you Tin."

"Then why won't you come near me?" she asked, her voice cracking as tears threatened to spill once more. "What did I do?"

"We just … it's just that, after the accident…" Alan struggled to find words. He was going to have to tell her now, the reason why he was avoiding her. He'd been trying to avoid this from the beginning. He made a mental note to kill his brothers.

"I don't wanna see you hurt Tin, I love you to much to do that too you."

"This is not hurting me!" she shouted, surprising the both of them.

"What if I die Tin? Where does that leave you? If that building had collapsed thirty seconds earlier I would've never come back. You would've been all alone. It's better if we just, aren't together. You can get a normal boyfriend, live a normal life!"

_We're better off alone (You better off alone)  
Than lying to ourselves  
I regret what you say  
I don't care what I know  
Don't say it's all been a waste of time  
Are you better off alone (send my love)  
Stop lying to yourself (send my love)  
It cannot go unsaid (send my love)  
I only want you to know (to yooou)  
It cannot go unsaid,   
I only want you to know,  
I think it's all going to work out fine._

Tin-Tin actually smiled, for the first time since the accident three weeks earlier.

"That's what all this is about! You're worried you aren't going to be there for me!"

"Yeah Tin, and I know, I shouldn't have just ignored you like that, but if I'd spoken to you, I… I wouldn't have been able to do it. I never meant to hurt you."

"You stupid boy." She laughed as she moved in closer to him.

"What?!"

"I knew the risks when we started dating, I knew that there was a chance that maybe you could get badly hurt, or maybe…" she shuddered. "But I still want to continue this. I love you, you stupid dolt. I'll always love you. I'll be even more alone if I can't be with you and we live on the same island! Can't you see that!"

"So, you're not worried about being left here alone, I mean, I know its improbable, but I don't want you to get hurt…"

"Let's not let something as unlikely as that stand in the way of us! Please Alan!"

"You're sure that you aren't better off alone?" he asked, his heart swelling inside him. Maybe he'd been wrong after all.

"Absolutely." Alan smiled broadly.

Gordon stood from where he'd had his ear pressed to the door. "Well boys, we did it. I think it's all going to work out fine."

A/N- Well there we go. That's been bugging me for about a week. Glad I got it out. Please review! Please please please!

Please remember in your prayers the Tsunami victims, and maybe find it in your hearts to donate something to those who have lost everything.


End file.
